I was out with friends over the weekend when one of them asked if I had made another post on my blog. Actually I forgot about my blog, big surprise. Then I remembered that I had not made a post for awhile because nothing interesting has happened to me. I mean things have happened to me just not anything blog worthy. Until right now. Nothing actually happened right now but I am going to blog anyway.
So, today is Valentine's Day, yippee! I mean this day has totally lost all meaning to me since I became a mom. Now instead of roses and nice dinners I get to make pancakes for the kids which nobody eats! I mean come on I put love into that pancake. They were not just ordinary pancakes either, they were heart shaped with sprinkles and whipped cream. These were like little dessert cakes. What kids wouldn't want to eat that for breakfast? Mine, that's who. However my four year old did tell me Happy Valentine's Day this morning and that made it all worth it (I guess).
On another note, I saw this news story about this stay at home mom who became an alcoholic, uhm yeah like that never happens. Anyway, she said that she just started to drink because she no longer had the drive to accomplish anything. I totally feel that way. I don't have deadlines or goals anymore. It's like when I became a stay at home mom I turned in all my initiative and drive to move up that imaginary responsibility ladder. What ladder am I going to climb now, the one at the playground that leads to the slide! I need to start making goals and have things to look forward to. I mean of course I look forward to my kids going to school and growing up, but that will happen whether I take an active role in it or not. What is something that I have to do, that I have to strive to do. Something that is all on me. Something not related to my kids. What, something not related to my kids! Haha like I will every find anything like that anymore. I gave all that up when I decided to be a stay at home mom. No more promotions, no more bonuses, no more incentives for getting my job done. Just laundry, dishes and dirty diapers. You may say well you get the love of your children, yeah well I would get that if I worked also. Of course I get to take an active role in developing their little minds. If that is even a good thing. I don't get an annual review to tell me how I am doing. My two year old would rather walk around with turds in his diaper than let me change him. Hello! You smell!
Maybe I need to start planning. Start planning parties, planning play dates, planning futures. Geez, I need a job! Not just any job, a job where I can still stay at home with my kids and get recognition for a job well done and a promotion and my own money and my own company car, oh and I want benefits and a 401K, uhm an office and I want to wear power suits and heels everyday, I want to feel like I have made a difference in someones world by helping them accomplish something. Oh.....I have that job already. Yeah, yeah I just figured it out. I have the best job in the entire world. Not everyone is cut out to do this job; this selfless, no gratitude, no recognition, never ending job. One day my kids are going to say thank you and then it will make it all worth it. One day I am going to be sitting here without the kids and realize that I had the most important job of my life, MOM. Or as I am going to refer to it from now on, Child Development Specialist. Yep, that sounds good put that on my business card.
Oh, but I forgot what was I blogging about?
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